Loving and Being Loved Deeply

"Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.” Ephesians 7:8

With only a week and a half left of our team’s 6 week stay in Goa, my mind and heart have begun to process more solidly some of the things I’ve experienced here – the blessings, the stretches, the joys, the sorrows, and everything on the spectrum in between. I’m walking the line of being where I am and not checking out emotionally or mentally while also knowing that our time here is running out. One thing is being driven deeper and deeper into my heart with each passing day: I am so thankful for every moment I’m spending here. 

For the last few weeks, I have been serving in the location that focuses on relationally ministering to young women through stitching, jewelry and life skills classes. Volunteers are also sent to a local pre-school in the mornings to come alongside the teachers, encouraging/empowering them in whatever ways they can. I knew from the time the Lord called me to be here this summer that my hands were completely out of it; He is the One with the perfect plan, the One who directs our steps, the One who changes hearts, the One who heals, the One who brings the fruit, the One who searches hearts and knows all things, the One who makes everything new, and the One who will draw His bride unto Himself. It is not me. It was never me, nor will it ever be me. It is not about me and it is not dependent on me; however, He WILL use those who are open to His Spirit and who make themselves available to carry out His will. That was my desire in coming here. I wanted to keep my hands out of what I was doing and to be led by Him in all things. I wanted to learn as much as I taught and to be humbled more than I could stand. I wanted to be where I was and to not hold myself back while asking others to be vulnerable with me. I wanted to trust that He was and is the One who is in control of all things and who WILL be glorified, and more than anything I wanted to trust that His vision, compassion, mercy, love, patience and kindness were and are infinitely greater than mine.

Being here has been extremely humbling and eye-opening, and I have to continually remind myself of the previously described position of my heart in coming here. Working short-term in a relationship-building ministry within a culture that is more complicated than I can express is as difficult as it is necessary. You may never know how the Lord used you, and you may never see the fruit that you desire to see. My own heart has been going through intensive refining since I arrived, through essentially everything and everyone around me. As our team serves others through teaching, loving, and just being friends, we are also learning so much about the Lord and about ourselves. It is holistically beneficial to be here – we are partnering with the Lord in what He’s doing here in the area of education and prevention, we are living in community, we are loving and being loved deeply, we are sowing seeds, we are learning, and we are being refined.

I’m believing more and more in the importance of serving long term, especially in a setting like this one where the ministry is very much relational. People let you in as they trust you, and trust is established in consistency.  I love these women and children so much, and I am encouraged by the growth I hear they have made since Rahab’s Rope began working with them. I am encouraged by the work of the ministry as well as by the testimonies here of the Lord’s faithfulness. In that, I wish I could stay longer; it’s hard to know that the people you care about so desperately may only be in your life for this short time. There is also a season for everything, and I am trusting that the Lord knows what He’s doing in calling people to all different lengths of service in the timing He does. I am also trusting that He is accomplishing all He has purposed. This season in India is just long enough to get my feet in the water and to solidify the notion that my desire is to serve long-term in this nation.  I am looking forward to what the next week and a half brings, as well as to hearing how the Lord continues indefinitely to work in this place. My prayer is that we can focus on the Lord and His unfailing love as we finish well what we came here to do - make ourselves available as His hands and feet, give Him our hearts and give Him the glory.

Kristin